The Heart Matters

This summer, I read Trina’s post about the DMT retreat being held at the Rock of Ages. I quipped at that time:

“Wow – I always wanted to go to the Rock of Rages.”  (Really, I did post that on BCII.)

Looking back to that silly post, now I realize that I must have somehow sensed the storm brewing in my heart. There was increasing intensity all about me. Dark and full of destructive force – Impending and dangerous – I thought I was not afraid. This was a storm that the spiritual realm was about to unleash – a storm that God foreknew – one that’s time had come to fullness.

Storms are full of such potential. They can be violent. They can be destructive, even frightening. A storm was approaching – clouds loomed in the distance. The wind howled, trying to tell me something – something that I could not hear. Was I deaf?

The waves crashed against the rocks – Erie awakened as never before. The destructive waves drew me in. The storm had been building potential. Soon it would be released. I saw the force of this storm – increasing in strength. Was I blind?

A young man, a father to be, someone I now call my friend, and I watched as the waves crashed against the rocky shore. I noted how beautiful a stormy sea can be. We watched the rage together. Did we see it? Storms can be beautiful.

The day continued. People were busy working on the details of their presentations. All the while, the storm was approaching – it was time to face the full force of what had been building.

Tensions were mounting, not only my own. Storms can be weathered – on a strong foundation. Was I standing on one? This storm had arrived.

I will not bore anyone with the drama and the pain – many of you witnessed my struggle. You also share my faith, my love and my hope. I will say this, Jesus Christ came to build His church and the gates of hell will not prevail.

I follow Jesus Christ – I listen to his words.

Matthew 16:18
And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.

Jesus had the authority and spoke the words to calm a raging sea – one on which Peter (aka Lisa’s NT boyfriend) walked. A storm can be calmed. I see now so clearly that storms can be beautiful. Christ commissions some of the biggest losers I know. He used Peter – bravado and all – to build His Church – not mine – His.  I have hope that Jesus can use me – to love others. I desire to be fervent in my love for others.

Luke 5:10 reads:

“Don’t be afraid; from now on you will catch men.”

The details are fuzzy. That is okay. Where else would I go – for Christ has the words of eternal life. There is no where else to go. Indeed, a storm can be lovely in so many ways.

Additional Information

 A wise man once wrote that there is a season for every activity under heaven. He wrote that there is a time to be born … to heal, to tear down, to build, to mourn, to dance, to scatter, to gather … a time for war and a time for peace. The Hughes home church understands what that man was saying. Now is not the time for peace. Now is the season to go to war – to take it to the streets.

This summer brought many challenges and opportunities for growth. For one, the leaders Joel, Kat, and Dar have joined the new Crossroads Bible Study at Kent State University. They are part of an college ministry initiative whose goal to break through the spiritual darkness that holds KSU in its cold grip.

Called to “active duty” in a new mission field, the tried and true leadership team decided to go and to offer their talents and leadership experience to this budding ministry. It was time for them to go – to uproot from their established ministry. It was time to raise up a volunteer led team. It was time that the Hughes Home Church put away childish things and clothed itself with mature love.

One Hughite commented following the worker’s meeting where this plan was announced, “We knew that they were going. We were very supportive and excited about Dar and Joel going to the field. Soon Kathryn will join them. That new ministry is growing rapidly. Change is so unsettling. That is a good thing. God is certainly a God of movement.”

During that worker’s meeting, Joel called for a leadership team of volunteers – a team that would willingly take on the responsibility and “the heat” of leading the Home Church while “the deacons take their eye off the ball.” Joel didn’t want anyone to feel conscripted. An awkward silence filled the normally chatty room. Slowly people stepped forward and offered to pinch hit for them. The Lagotte’s, Avdeyev’s, and the Beech’s make up this fledgling team. Now is the time to build.

Since August 18^th , the “Lagotteechdeyev Rock – n – Roll Machine” has been in motion, starting with new series from the book of Luke. The goal is to more fully know and understand the person and ministry of Jesus. It was time to embrace Christ to get behind Him.

“How can we tell others about just how awesome Jesus Christ is if we don’t have an intimate relationship with him? We need to get to know Him better. We need to be excited about what He has accomplished. Luke should jump start this growth.” a volunteer reflected.

The old “talking head” teaching format is out the door. After receiving feedback from Joel on the multi-site conference in Chicago, the new “leaders” agreed with him that home church teachings need to change. In Ephesus, Paul had daily discussions with his disciples, not daily sermons. Discussions call for group participation. That now is the goal for each home church meeting. Each member of the body is to contribute to the meeting by using the gifts that the Spirit has given to him or her. Now is the time to grow.

1Corinthians 14:26

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.

This discussion format has been used twice. Already the meetings are more energized and dynamic. When everyone partakes and offers up their individual gifting, it is amazing how the power of the Holy Spirit is unleashed. The last two meetings bear the potential of something electric. It was time to tear down the show.

Getting people to our meetings has been difficult. Our outreach events and parties were nearly void of new people or even returning new. The body has been rather discouraged. For a while it seemed as if we had settled in and were content with our comfortable evenings of fellowship. It felt safe. It was pleasant. It was becoming a bore. This is time to mourn and to change.

After teaching Luke 2, Lisa commented,“I think that we became comfortable with how our meeting went. We all have very busy lives. It is so easy to say ‘yes’ to what the world has to offer and to believe that no one is interested in spiritual matters. Such lies. We now see that our love had grown cold. We knew we had to repent and get on board where God was moving. We need to go where the people are.”

A fresh fighting spirit has been building. There is a growing urgency to reach out to the lost – to scatter away from base. The Falls Home Church has a new resolve to go out into the community and to connect with others. We are accountable for how the meeting goes down. Our conversations are not only fun, but the are purpose filled and edifying.

This church is full of ideas – some old, some new. The C&C’s have continued and personal follow-up is improving. This church hopes to turn the C&C’s into a bi-weekly Discovery Group. This of course will take some time and relationship building. Along those lines, the guys are talking about going out into the community and invading man territory with their “Man Clan Plan.”

Jake explained, “We need to get men away from their women. Something happens when guys hang out with their wives or girlfriends. It is as if they get stupid. Men don’t want to talk to just one guy – not really – they find that creepy. Men want to be part of a gang – something that is manly. That is our idea – to pull men into our gang – Our Man Clan.”

Amy has been busy looking for ways to connect with some of the women in the Falls. She and Andie were recently invited to be a part of a book club. “I am asking God for opportunities to meet people and then I get invited to this book club. How amazing is that? God basically says to me, okay go read some books with these women. Get to know them. Go love them. Who am I to argue?”

Mel and Alex have been taking it to the streets as they get to know their neighbors. They have extended invitations to several neighbors and some may attend our next home church meeting. “People are beginning to take notice of the activity at our place. They are curious about what is going down.”

Many are getting involved with their neighbors. The Schoofs’ have taken up rock climbing – a hobby of their neighbors. Others are meeting more people through clubs, classes and new jobs.

Lisa has started a small business – walking door to door trying to find a way to meet new neighbors. “I know this sounds ridiculous. I am selling AVON. I have met several women already. It is amazing how easy it is to get women talking when it comes to beauty products. I guess they are already looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. I hope to make a connection with them.”

Not only is this church building an outward focus, but it is learning the ethos of commitment – to spurring one another to love and good deeds. October is retreat month. The guys and gals both have retreats planned. The goal is to work on our personal relationships and walks with the Lord. This is the first retreat in years – so everyone is very excited and eager to get down to work.

It should be a lot of fun too. Steve’s mom has graciously offered her place in Pennsylvania for our home church to use as a retreat place. It is a rustic setting and has a nearby recreational lake. Steve commented on the accommodations, “Things will be a little crowded – but we can fish there and hangout by the campfire. It will be very relaxing.”

Summer has gone and fall is here. Summer was a season of pending transitions – now fall is a season of resolute activity and purpose. This Rock – n – Roll Machine has got its groove on and its taking it to the streets. This church is not content. It is not resigned to just “doing” church. This is a group of brothers and sisters who are committed to fighting the good fight – the fight against the powers that be.

We are taking advice from a sister…. A TWISTED SISTER…

Additional Information

I’ve been thinking. Shocking though it may be – thoughts actually do form and move about in my head. Sometimes my thoughts are so clear and relevant. It is as if I can grasp them between my fingers. They are fresh and crisp like the autumn air. They are pleasing. Other times, they are elusive and hidden within shadows – muddled by the thick, black fog of intense emotion, or perhaps, scattered here and there, like sudden summer thunderstorms – charged with electricity. Today my thoughts seem muddled – could it be fear?

I have been wrestling with prioritizing relationships – I understand how to do this – why to do that – the basic human need and God given design to have them. I have enjoyed the bounty of meaningful interactions – having been energized, and even restored by an evening of intimate conversation and playful revelry. Those times are the delight of my soul – the softener of my heart. They are that which binds me together so tightly with those whom I have invited into my life. They are the moments and relationships that I cherish. Camping at East Harbor exemplified such a time.

But, you see, fall has arrived. Oh, the frenzy of the season. The squirrels are running about – gathering nuts and scurrying along the bricks of my house and over my roof. Buckeyes are falling from my tree – just in time to be collected and strung into necklaces. Footballs are being tossed in my neighborhood.

The squirrels are not the only ones running about, nor are the buckeyes the only things falling around me.  I am running about – scurrying to put my new schedule in order. Order – my beloved order – is falling around me. Not that this is something new – rather it is different as my sons grow into men – building their own place in this world. And my stomach seems to be the only thing being tossed about – of late. Perhaps, my heart is as well.

My life is so filled with substance. I once longed to have a schedule filled with important – meaningful things to do. I desired to be useful. God has granted me that opportunity. Responsibilities now swirl around in my head – my stomach flops as my teeth clench. My countenance eases as I reflect on what God has done.

The Missions Prayer Meeting has successfully continued for over one year now. Those who attend regularly are significantly contributing to its success – God has honored such a small step of faith – not only by me – but also by those who add to each meeting. I experience such joy during each meeting.

OASIS has been another significant blessing in my life. I have had the opportunity to see the body come together for the Christmas pageant – both including and starring the children – and pull off a beautiful testimony to the power of Christ united in love and common purpose. Many workers have first wetted their feet to the ministry of service through involvement with the kids. I am honored to be part of that.

Studying the principles of and learning to put into practice love ethics has been another joyous experience. The time spent together with Dar is beyond precious. I have benefited not only from understanding a new paradigm of love – so foreign from my natural values, but also from building new relationships and strengthening old ones through the weekly meeting of the Love Squad.

But the greatest crowning glory in my life are the people that I am learning to love in my Home Church. They humble me more than they know. Geez – I have a lot to learn about love.

This is where the priorities thing comes into play. This is why I question whether or not I am afraid. God has placed so many wonderful people in my life, like the women of my cell group. I have come to realize what a bad friend I am. I relate out of convenience – not out of pursuit and through genuine sacrifice. This is wrong. It is sinful. It is unloving. But hope shines through such darkness and I call upon the Lord to empower me to change.

It is so easy to default to organizing and functioning through systemizing my household and my relationships. How sick is that? Not that schedules are evil – I am not saying that at all – but, what I am saying is that I impose order and create self-made schedules at the expense of people. I do not feel I am exaggerating – not one bit.

Not only is this damaging to those in the body of Christ, it is hurtful to my family who must bear the weight of my standard of perfection. It is hurtful to me and my personal relationship with the Lord.

A wise man, who I married, recently told me that I prioritize my agenda and set the standard so high – one of perfection – that I actually fail to demonstrate warmth and love to those most treasured by me – namely my sons. I push their genuine needs to the margins in order that I perform well. He claimed that I was afraid to fail.

At first I had a real problem with what this man said to me. I mean, why must I fail – if I can pull it together and perform well enough – having aligned all my ducks in a row? I should be able to succeed at whatever level I have deemed as the mark of success. Why not?

Then, I thought about the people in my life. Why is it so difficult to reach out and prioritize spending time with others – especially when it is not convenient for me? Why do I agonize about when I can fit or pencil people into my schedule? Why do I fret that my house is in disarray? That the nerf bullets are not in the proper place? This is just sick, I say.

Some of my angst is legitimate – some is not. After all, I do have four sons with whom I need to spend time. I do have a husband – who actually has legit needs. My father and my mother both have needs and I am committed to loving them with authority. Oh yeah, I have this black hole, called a house, and it beckons to be vacuumed, dusted, tidied and even scoured every now and then. It beckons to me as the white whale beckoned to old Ahab. Don’t even get me started on the topic of dishes and laundry.

A leaf falls onto my yard, and then another one, and then yet another. Yes, fall is just around the corner – September 22nd, I believe.

I scurry. I jump. I run to and fro. I become exhausted believing that I must bear this yoke alone upon my own middle-aged shoulders. Such folly.

From Matthew11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Let me tell you a secret – promise not to tell. I can’t do it on my own.  I will fail. I will hurt people. I am a sinner. But, I choose to ask God to change my sick and warped heart to one that desires to touch and interact with people – not when it is just convenient. It is never convenient or easy to step out of my comfort zone. If I wait for the perfect moment, I will miss it. It will never come.

Relationships are so rewarding – God sought me out when I was dead in my trespasses. Amy sought me out while I was sinning it up with boys in a college ministry house. Dar sought me out while I was sulking in Cuyahoga Falls. Who have I sought out of late – with godly passion and Spirit-filled resolve? How have I truly put myself on the line with patience and perseverance?

Relationships – people – are worth putting your heart out on the line. People are worth breaking down the barriers of fear and self-protection. People truly matter. God can be likened to a squirrel – believe it or not. He sets His eyes on nuts – people like you and me, gathers them and puts them to His use. (I know I ended the analogy before we get eaten.) I am so thankful He has put my life to use in building His kingdom. I grateful God sought out this nut.

Additional Information