The Heart Matters

Community

The last function of the church addressed by White is the purpose of community, also understood as fellowship. He identifies several aspects of community in need of repentance. These include a lack of authenticity, the presence of broken relationships, and a spirit of exclusion.

The absence of authenticity has to do with the leaven in the church, hypocrisy. Jesus reserved his most harsh and scathing remarks for the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his day. In Luke 11, Jesus warns them of their perilous heart attitudes.

“Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone. – v 42

Woe to you Pharisees, because you love the most important seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces. – v 43

“Woe to you, because you are like unmarked graves, which men walk over without knowing it.” – v 44

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Worship

The activity of worship was the weakest segment of this book concerning the purpose of the church. White typifies worship as a service that mainly consists of corporate singing. This was somewhat surprising in that he first classified worship as gathering together in the temple daily, praying and the breaking of bread. I believed his emphasis would rest on acts of corporate love and service.

White gets it right that the traditional approaches to worship are stale and that these outmoded activities of worship do not appeal to a postmodern culture, but that is all he gets right, for his “rethinking” is more like repackaging the stale bread.

He likens the needed change to what Luther did when he changed the lyrics to beer hall songs and wrote the song, “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God.” (This criticism is especially difficult for me as I have a soft spot in my heart for that old hearty ballad.) White proposes that we must rethink our worship services so that the songs are contemporary and that the format of the service is sensitive to those who are walking through the doors of church for the first time. He also believes that a “sense of the sacred” must be preserved as that is what postmodern society is seeking. I suppose to White sacred equals songs of praise.

Worship is not limited to groups practicing ritual and singing, but rather it is a devotion to the “one living and true God.” This devotion described in 1 Thessalonians 1:9 is one where the focus is not on the things of this world, but rather focus is on the Kingdom of God. To worship the Lord with devotion is to look to the interests of Christ (Phil 2:21) – to get on board with His mission. Also, worship is not the act of singing. John 4:24 says, “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” This sort of worship happens in the heart. It is not saying one thing with your mouth and doing another with your life. Jesus made this point clear in Matthew 15:8-9, “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.” Worship has nothing to do with rules at all.

Although believers can worship together as a group, it is more attuned to personal devotion. The question becomes not how are you going to worship, but rather who are you going to worship? Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy. To offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – which is your spiritual worship.”

Now, I’d like to stress that singing can be part of personal worship. The heart is often moved along by melodies and rhythm. Often I have learned scripture coupled with song. At these times, my heart is lifted up through the melding of harmony, voice and truth. Recently, I witnessed Joni Eareckson Tada praising the Lord through song. Her brief outburst of a joyful song, a personal expression, edified those in her presence. I am not advocating that we all take up singing praises of the Lord to one another, yet in some circumstances it seems fitting. Why else would Ephesians 5:18-19 say:

speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; (NASB)

Another common translation for this passage is:

Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord,

The Greek for these highlighted words is τῇ καρδίᾳ ὑμῶν . This is the dative form for “te kardia umon.” The dative case in Greek can be translation either in your heart or with your heart. If “in your heart” is used, then it could be argued that singing is a silent act of the heart. On the other hand, if the dative is translated as with you heart, it could be argued that singing and melody making is an act that the heart should fully accompany. The difference is slight, but it exists.

Regardless of used translation, too much emphasis has been place on singing as a act of worship. The church as taken something minor and personal and turned it into the main act of worship. The church has warped a jubilant expression of joy and turned it into the focus of worship, “though hearts are far from Him.” God still cries out today as Jesus did in Mark 7:6.

And He said to them, “Rightly did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written: ‘THIS PEOPLE HONORS ME WITH THEIR LIPS, BUT THEIR HEART IS FAR AWAY FROM ME.

So do our lives exemplify a “living sacrifice?” This is a personal as well as a corporate issue. First we need to strive as individuals to live sacrificial lives, considering others as better than ourselves. The needs of others ought to be a primary concern of worship. This includes not only a focus on learning the truth, but also on character transformation, for Paul makes it evident in Romans that our act of worship is a free offering of our lives as sacrifices – lives that are different – lives that stand apart from the world.

And so, if we are individually striving to focus on the needs of others and if we are seeking for God to change our characters so that we too may imitate Paul as he imitated Christ, then our local Body of Christ should emulate such worship. If it does not, then we are not imitating Christ. Then, we are not looking to the needs of others – including their physical needs, as well as their spiritual needs. We must challenge and encourage one another with the word. This is corporate worship, laying down one’s life for those in the church. Time to get messy.

• Community

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Ministry

The third activity that the church engages in is ministry. This the the outward focus on other’s needs that believers have whether it is caring for infants so that parents can attend a meeting, or it is driving preteens around to various group activities so that they can participate in healthy relational settings.

White lays out the traditional ministry format as beginning with a program, finding some people, selling, carrying out, and maintaining the program. Then he contrasts it with what he calls the ministry development process. In this process towards ministry, one starts with a need, matches the need with the mission, waits for a leader, builds according to giftedness and reviews this ministry regularly.

Our fellowship seems to agree with White process to ministry. I recall when Chill recruited the Scumbag Clowns and the respectable adults were asked to step down. One of those respectable members recalls (with good humor) this change as “the firing.”

The breakdown of this process went something like this. (This breakdown is the observation of someone who was not party to the building of this ministry.) There was a need for teachers in this ministry that could hold the preteens attention. The “respectables” were too nice and calm to maintain the level of excitement that was necessary to hold these ruffians attentions. The mission was for these kids to be excited enough about their youth group to both invited friends and to take a personal ownership of the group. There was a need for a dynamic leader. Though not proven as a leader, a polarizing man stepped forward under mentoring to co-lead this group. The giftedness of the team drove the direction of the ministry with varying levels of success, but the mission itself was met as the children were bringing many to its meetings and there were salvations among the attendees. As for regular evaluations, these were done as time and need presented with changes made as deemed.

Another example is what has been going down in OASIS. Start with the need to teach the children, to organize teaching teams, and to make the curriculum accessible to the teaching teams. The mission of OASIS is to train not only the children up in the word (while allowing parents to attend our Central Teaching), but also new workers on teaching the word. A leadership team was found from among the workers. The ministry has developed around the giftedness of the workers as well as the needs of those being served. One class had quite a behavioral problem. A servant award was created to be given to whomever was “noticed” for serving in faith or for having an outward focus. As the children grow and the workers move into other ministries, this ministry is evaluated and modified to meet circumstance and need in light of mission.

Today there is an growing need in the children’s ministry. As new couples become parents, a nursery had become necessary. The parents are willing to serve in this ministry. I, as a children’s ministry leader, am committed to finding an at site location to accommodate these parents and infants. As we launch this new class, I believe that God will provide both a location and a gifted nursery leader, who will manage the seen and unseen needs of this ministry. As more children are added and as circumstances change, the effectiveness of this ministry will be evaluated.

Our fellowship as a whole, seems very committed to serving others, whether through an organized ministry such as South Street and the Buffalo Missions Trip, or through more personal endeavors such as considering missions through financial support or joining the field. If a need is seen with the Body of Christ, people speak up and plan to get involved like when someone moves, is ailing, or needs some household repairs. We are an assembly that loves to get our hands dirty and lend a helping hand. Service is where the fun is.

•  Worship

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Discipleship

Another purpose of the church is to raise believers to maturity. White turns to Hebrews 5:12-13 where this point is made quite clear.

You have been Christians a long time now and you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things a beginner must learn about the Scriptures. You are like babies who drink only milk and cannot eat solid food. And a person who is living on milk isn’t very far along in the Christian life and doesn’t know much about doing what is right.

The author makes several excellent points concerning discipleship. Often we think that at salvation our lives will dramatically change, when actually this is just the beginning of the long process of sanctification. Next, we presume that we will naturally mature over time, when maturity requires far more than just time. Then, we assume that the change in our lives occurs as an act of our will, when change is more about training than about trying. Lastly, we deceive ourselves into believing that growth is accomplished on our own rather than as a result of team effort.

True, at salvation a person’s eternal destiny has been altered, but now the process begins. After 14 hours of grueling labor I was overjoyed when my first son was born. I gasped, “It’s over. I’m done.” Much to my surprise the wise-cracking nurse quips, “No honey, it’s just beginning.” This is what the life of the new convert is like. We too are just so elated and revel in our new found relationship, but live change is just beginning. We need to be upfront with those we disciple and let them know that this is just the beginning.

The time factor is something that should be considered. As seen in Acts 2, the new converts devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles. This too ought to be the focus for those we bring to Christ. You cannot have a deep and growing relationship with someone you do not spend time with. Not only should we spend time together in fellowship and in worship, but we should spend time alone with Christ, getting to know who he is as well as enjoying His presence in our lives, after all ”He is the way, the truth and the life.”

Life change is not merely a choice from our will. I cannot will myself to change at the heart. I can adhere to a set of moral conduct and require that I perform in a certain manner, but for all of my exertion, I can never change my heart. The prophet Jeremiah spoke of the heart as desperately wicked. Ezekiel prophesied that the Lord would take man’s heart of stone and make it flesh. Change at the heart level is what lasts. This is the work of the Lord. This change requires a willingness to submit to the will of the Lord. Paul encouraged the church to imitate him as he imitates Christ. This is the calling of the the disciple. This is what leads to transformation in thought and in heart attitude.

This submission includes a willingness to train. Just because we desire to be excellent at a particular skill, does not mean that we will just acquire expertise. This is also true in spiritual growth. Paul wrote in 1 Tim 4:7 to his disciple Timothy to “train yourself to be godly.” What was necessary for Timothy is also for us.

There is no such thing as Christian growth outside of a body or mentoring relationship. We can deceive ourselves into believing that we don’t need others to change, but what man can be sharpened without another man to assist him. Hebrews says, “Let us consider how to spur one another on to love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another.”

White pointed out that often churches fail to train its members on the practices of training. He observed that often a church will teach on the need for a certain skill, but that same church will fail to effectively teach how to learn the skill needed. Though he presented it more as a church program, the principles were well stated.

Once someone becomes a believer, there is a need to train. Converts should be taught about the life of the disciple which includes basic doctrinal truths. People need to be plugged into a small group setting and encouraged to build relationship with other believers. Here each member can challenge another on what the word has to say pertaining to a particular life issue. The prevailing challenge ought to be,”What says the Word of the Lord on this matter.” There needs to be a focus on character development so that the man of Christ can be complete, bearing fruit. People should invest their time and resources in spiritual development, much like someone would for a career. The meeting the needs of others should become a vital component of daily life.

As for our fellowship, the activity of discipleship is deeply valued and emphasized. As a body, the teachings are content filled and there are plenty of opportunities to learn and to be train in becoming godly. Our home church settings offer an intimate format for delving into spiritual truths. Our cell groups emphasize relationship, service and again truth. Though these resources are in place, I have observed that often there is a lack of zeal for learning the word or for putting what is learned into practice. People are frequently just showing up or worse yet are complaining that there is work to do.

As I have stepped out and lead a cell group of post-college aged women, it seems more difficult to engage in lively discussions about what is being taught. This is different from my experiences teaching a college aged group – one that was so excited about Christ. Perhaps, this apathy arises from a lack of understanding why this truth is important for me. Christianity is not a religion. It is a relationship. The word that we study is just a means to know Christ and to guide us in our walk with Him. Perhaps, the older we are as believers, we lose our first love. Perhaps even more, it is that we cannot serve two masters. As we settle into family and career, we lose our focus on Christ and turn our eyes toward comfort and order. The world steals away our heart. We just don’t have time for Christ. Who has the energy to take a step of faith?

Take for instance this ecclesia class that is being taught this summer. What an amazing opportunity to engage in training and to learn about the mission and the purpose of the church. I must confess, that it has been difficult to focus on the work of learning and of putting my thoughts together in this paper. Summer is full of distractions. It is also full of opportunity. As I sit here typing – spending time with the Lord – I hear my call to repentance – my call to rethink how I do cell – how I interact with others when we assemble.

• Ministry

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 Evangelism

On page 43, White identifies that “Evangelism involves effectively communicating the gospel of Jesus Christ with the goal of converting an individual to the Christian faith.” Perhaps, the better goal would be to introduce someone to the person of Jesus and His offer of relational reconciliation. The gospel message is always the same, yet the manner which it is communicated changes with the audience. The apostle Paul affirms this as an objective of evangelism in 2 Cor 9:22, as he “became all thing to all men so that by all possible means (he) might save some.” In layman’s terms the good news must be contextualized.

When rethinking evangelism, one must consider the background, culture and language of the audience. As Jesus spoke, he used narratives and stories that his audience could readily comprehend. To fisherman, he spoke of fishing. To a women at the well, he talked of living water. He identified his audience and reasoned in their terms to convey a spiritual truth.

Barna has recently determined through research why non-Christians are not affected by the message of Christianity. This is important to understand, for the mission of the church is to reach those who are not believers. The threefold reasons given by those surveyed are that they “do not see the relevance of the Christian faith, they do not understand what the Christian faith is trying to say, and they have difficulty accepting how different the Christian answer is from what they though the answer would be.” (p 53)

The key to successful evangelism is to invite a person to into a situation where they can “seek and find a redemptive relationship” with Jesus Christ. Notice that the key word in this is relationship. It is not about building up some program or coming up with the perfect teaching series, rather it is about building relational bridges where people can understand the gospel. The message must be presented in verbal witness rather than displayed through merely the activity of Christian community. The gospel must be spoken in such a manner that it is understood and able to prove relevant in that person’s life.

In our fellowship we do well at being the fun neighbors next door, or the supportive friend who is there, but often we put more investment in the activity of fun at the expense of expressing the gospel of reconciliation. We build our warm bridges without the gospel being first and foremost in our budding relationships. The gospel must always be preeminent. Its relevance promoted, lest we chance to place ourselves in a bait and switch” predicament.

When the gospel gets the back seat, we lose an opportunity for seeing who is and is not receptive to the word, and as a result, we invest unwisely. To invest a great amount of time without substance limits the opportunity to successfully evangelize to those in our lives. Balancing the warmth of relationship with the substance of truth can be difficult, but again this is the activity of the assembly and we should depend and count on the council and support of the Body of Christ when evangelizing.

When we do get people to a meeting where the gospel is presented clearly, do we ask the relevant questions? Or do we turn the conversation to the weather or the latest entertainment scandal? What better opportunity than to talk about Christ and who He is and what He has done and what He is offering. Ask yourself, “As a Christian, what is the business of the church? What are we here to accomplish?” Or better yet, “Who do I need to introduce them to?”

White addresses the changing needs in evangelism for a post modern society. No longer is reason or facts enough. Now we need to communicate “So what?” and “How does this affect me?” A postmodern culture no longer understands who the God of the Bible is. They now must be introduced to Him just as Paul introduced the Greeks at Mars Hill to the one true God. Also, the postmodern person is seeking experience. They want to belong and to be part of the sacred. Another need in the postmodern world is that people are wanting to see an example of the transformed life. They want evidence that the spiritual life is genuine. People want to see practical models of life transformed.

In our fellowship, there has been great success with the Discovery Group model , based on Poole’s seeker small groups concept. People have been personally invited to engage in spiritual conversations. The relationships are built outside of meetings, through both group gatherings and one on one time. An environment of safety is established where attendees are comfortable to discuss spiritual values and ideas. Those non-believers attending these groups are exposed to the truth and have the opportunity to ask how it is relevant to them. They are able to experience the “sacred” through attending meetings where prayer, fellowship, and service are practiced. As for seeing the transformed, many hear testimonies and in time see genuine sacrifice and other’s based love put into action.

Perhaps the greatest obstacle for our fellowship is that discovery groups take a step of faith into the unknown. This step of faith can seem so huge, especially since so much is out of the control of those leading the group. It also can require a huge investment. But for those who have taken this step it has born fruit both in the lives of those hosting and of those attending. For those supporting the effort, a hindrance could be a lack of vision for how best to support the group. Effective communication of needs and well promoted and attended prayer meetings could assist others in the body to back these groups. The fruit born is evidence of the work of the Spirit which testifies to successful evangelism.

•  Discipleship

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Star Trek, quite possibly the pre-summer blockbuster of the year, at least record sales indicate as it opened with $75.2 million in weekend ticket sales, has more to offer viewers than breath taking chills and thrills. It offers depth – on a spiritual level.

New Life to an Dying Franchise

Though fans, both old and new, are clamoring about the non-stop action, the special effects, and the snappy dialogue, as well as drooling over the actors and actresses who make up the smoking-hot, young cast, there’s just something about Kirk and Spock that demands attention (and it has nothing to do with how delicious they are in this film). This long awaited “reboot” has wet the appetite of a new generation of potential fans. The town is all abuzz with the talk of Star Trek.

(Warning: contains some small spoilers.)

Why all this talk? What is the huge draw for old and new fans? Why the renewed interest in a franchise that has been dying a slow and painful death for years?

The answer, in a word, is friendship. Although the timeline of the Star Trek universe has been altered through a single cataclysmic event, and what “has been” may now not be, destiny pulls the “original crew” together as Starfleet cadets. In spite of odds against it, these youths begin to form unexpected yet amazing friendships.

The tumultuous friendship between Kirk and Spock stands paramount from them all. Spock and Kirk are at odds before they even meet, as Kirk has cheated during a test simulation which Spock developed and programmed himself. A brash and reckless Kirk continually creates disorder and wrecks havoc in the life of the emotionally repressed (not to mention control freak) Spock. This tension builds throughout the rest of the movie. They are at odds. It seems that they will never build the friendship that existed in the alternate timeline.

This point is amplified in a scene where young Captain Spock strands cadet Kirk on a desolate, icy moon. There Kirk encounters an old Vulcan who just happens to be the original timeline Spock, wisened through time and space.

Old Spock: “Kirk, how did you find me?”

Young Kirk: “Whoa…How did you know my name?”

Old Spock: “I have been and always shall be your friend…”

Herein lies the true climax of the the movie. The audience could have leapt to its feet, for this friendship was what has attracted so many people to Star Trek for generations. It is friendship that will draw and keep a new generation of fans. It was this same friendship that made Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan, a fan favorite.

Defining moment of a friendship

Time worn Spock had an agenda when he spoke with this “other” James Kirk. His purpose was not to undo whatever had altered time, but rather to ensure that Kirk and Spock found one another in this universe, not as rivals nor as obstacles to be overcome, but rather as friends. Old Spock knew that they needed one another.

As a Christian, I immediately thought of the Body of Christ. In the Body of Christ we need one another. Each member of the Enterprise crew had been strategically placed. Each cadet had a role to fulfill. Each cadet had duties which had been put forth before them. All that each member of Enterprise needed to do was walk in them. In short, each crew member had a place, a role, and a purpose set before him. Scotty was placed as engineer. Uhura was placed as the communications officer. McCoy, the doctor, as the tormented, walking conscience of the crew.

So too is it with the Body of Christ:

The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles,some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit. Yes, the body has many different parts, not just one part.  If the foot says, “I am not a part of the body because I am not a hand,” that does not make it any less a part of the body.  And if the ear says, “I am not part of the body because I am not an eye,” would that make it any less a part of the body? If the whole body were an eye, how would you hear? Or if your whole body were an ear, how would you smell anything?

1Corinthians 12:12-17

As I watched the movie unfold, it was apparent that each member depended on the other members of the Enterprise.  If one member faltered, then there were dire consequences. For instance, if Chekhov had not configured the transporter so that it could lock on moving objects, then Sulu and Kirk would have fallen to their deaths on the surface of Vulcan. I could expound on this matter ad nauseum.

As in the Body of Christ, each member - even a teenager - has a vital role.

In the Body of Christ, each member is placed, knit in love together. The crew of the Enterprise was not yet knit together in love. They had yet to be tested. They were building relationships. Before this diverse group of people could function well together, for the benefit of all, they had to learn how to love one another.

Paul understood this about the local church. He wrote about it in Colossians.

I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. Colossians 2:2

This was especially true of Spock and Kirk. If these two men were to ever grow together, being knit together in love, Kirk had to violate Spock’s rules. Kirk had to penetrate Spock’s hard heart, so that trust could be built. The barriers – the willful walls, had to come tumbling down.

The scene where Kirk moves Spock to violence closely parallels the scene where school-aged Spock beats up the bullies who taunt him about his human mother and traitor father. All of Spock’s rage surfaces, an act which disqualifies him as able to command Enterprise. What is a seeming defeat for Spock and a victory for Kirk is actually a victory for all.

Sometimes friendship needs some conflict

Kirk had the skills and character which made him a more suitable captain than regulation bound Spock, while Spock complemented Kirk, bringing reason and stability to the emotion-driven man.

So the movie ends with the youthful Kirk and Spock learning to appreciate one another. Each member of Enterprise was strategically placed while growing closer in purpose – becoming unified. Though this crew has a lot to learn about each other, the viewer is left with a sense of confidence that they will somehow become the close knit – dare I say even loving – crew found in the alternate timeline. The question of how they become unified in love is all that lies open to ponder.

As for the church, how do we plan to maintain the unity given through the Spirit for “we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit“?

I think that the answer lies in Ephesians 3:16-19. Unity is maintained through dependence on the power of the Spirit.

I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Perhaps Spock should have said it this way:

“Love long (wide, high and deep) and prosper.”

Just a thought. Perhaps we as a church have something to learn from this extended, modern parable.

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For weeks my heart has been heavy – the weight of my sorrow has been increasing, but what exactly is the source of this grief. I am not certain.

The phrase “failure to thrive” resonates within my head. Thoughts reverberating -  my mind wearied as images and perceptions are smashed against the bone of my skull. I am exhausted as failure thrives.

Memories of a failed relationship grip my heart. I see shadows and ghosts that reveal themselves in the dark corners. Darkness encroaches and unresolved conflict remains. Perhaps is it no longer perceived as conflict – because the feeling is gone. Perhaps nothing remains. Thus, the terror intensifies. This is heart ache.

I once had a dear friend – she and I were as different as the day is from night. I was loud, jovial and loved adventure. She was quieter, deep-thinking and goal-oriented. We even looked very different. I was the strawberry-blonde, vivacious girl of summer while she was the intense brunette who expressed herself best through her art.

I loved this woman. Well, at least I tried to love her. At times I think I successfully loved her. We were college roommates, ministry house buddies, and we shared many of our most joyful and sorrowful moments. We celebrated as she became engaged, and then wept bitterly upon hearing that her fiancée had hung himself. My poor, dear friend.

I asked her to be my maid of honor at my wedding – she accepted. We really did have many amazing times together. Even after I married we would get together – not as frequently as I ought or she needed. I recall one day that we did laundry together and watched Anne of Green Gables.

She told me that I always reminded her of Anne or of Laura Ingles – smart but explosive – a reactor with drive. I wonder if she knew how much that meant to me. I still cannot watch Little House or Anne of Green Gables without thinking of my friend – without crying. You see, I miss her.

My dear friend and I had this little problem – which grew into a huge horrible monster – devouring all in its wake. So many things were lost – relationships, unity and finally the entire small group of 10. (Small groups were a new “wine skin” that was put into practice in Xenos Columbus in the early 1990’s. They were to replace the Home Church structure.) The greatest loss, other than my friend, was the scarring on my heart which nearly made it impossible for me to be willing to love again. I was so afraid and discouraged – to the point of despair and of depression.

What happened (as best as I can explain) is this. My friend did not feel loved by me – I am sure some of that was legitimate – after all I was quite the silly, ego-centric infantile. She became visibly upset and hostile towards me in our small group and cell group settings. She would glare at me from across the floor or table – where ever we were – it did not matter.

The crazy bizzaro thing is that – she never told me verbally that I had hurt her. So, I decided that I would just let the “little baby sulk.” I decided that it was her problem and that she could just deal with her bad feelings and could come and talk with me. To be fair to her – I know I probably did something – but I did not actually know what the offense was.

The most shocking part of this story is not that two infantile women went at each other (in silence) – but what the Body of Christ did and did not do. That Body allowed us to come to meetings unresolved. She would glare and I would act  warm and friendly – oblivious to her pouting. I enjoyed acting like we were just fine. It was funny to see her tantrum in silence.

Not one person confronted either one of us. In fact, I later found that she went to the other women in my small group and talked to them and that they all agreed that I was not really her friend and that she could write me off.

I did not find this out until months later when I finally went to my friend to repent. I realized that I was in “sin” and had hurt her and that we were affecting the church. I hoped to reconcile. She informed me that she had forgiven me, but that we had never been friends so what was the point in pretending to be friends.

The relationship failed to thrive. As a result I failed to thrive and became as one dead. I was devastated. It took an enormous toll on my Christian walk. I ceased to grow. Not only did I lose a friend, I felt as if I could not trust the women in my cell. I locked my heart and threw away the key.

So why does this past failure weigh so heavily on my heart? Why now? My life and my sin is not unique. Relationships are so messy and sticky and we are guaranteed to hurt one another. There will always be people in our lives who are different from us and yet we are called by God to love them.

We as believers do not have the right to continue in sin against our brothers or sisters. As individuals we must repent. Our sin is like yeast and it will spread to others. Sin takes on a life all of its own. My home group disintegrated – it started with the conflict of two people – yet everyone got caught up in the fury of the storm.

As a body of believers, we must encourage one another so that we persevere in love and so that the deceitfulness of sin may not harden our hearts. If someone is hating someone else, go and talk to them. They may be able to be won.

Looking back on my broken friendship, I am so grieved. It did not have to end that way. We should have remained dear friends. Or at least friends.

So what causes a failure to thrive? In medicine this term refers to infants that do not put on weight or who do not grow as expected. Researchers believe that a cause is inadequate nutrition.

What feeds a believer? Scripture say it is:

…man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. – Deuteronomy 8:3

If we are not engaged in our word – getting fed – getting nourished we will not thrive – we will not grow – our development will be arrested. We cannot speak into someone else’s life when we are malnourished ourselves. We have to get fed. Plain and simple.

So what causes failure – to thrive? Not seeking out the Lord and his incite – not seeking out advice from mature brothers and sisters.We need to talk to others and to be open about problems and to be willing to hear things that we may not like. Things like:

“Hey, Lisa you are pretty evil – pretending that there is not a problem in your  relationships.”

“How can you say that you love God – when you obviously hate your sister.”

“How can you minister to others – when you are a deceived hypocrite?”

Oh – how I wish that someone had rebuked me in love – the goal to not only restore the relationship between my old roomie and I  – but also to build and transform my character. Oh how I long to be united in love with her – perhaps in glory – when every tear is wiped away – I will be able to stand face to face with her and rejoice that now we are unified – that all the silly barriers of the past have dissipated.

But for now – my heart bears the weight of that sorrow – of relational separation. What Jen and I meant for evil – God has used it for good. I now see so clearly that it is worth fighting for people and relationships. That love must prevail over fear and hate – oh that sin had not clouded my sight – oh that our relationship was restored,

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 A wise man once wrote that there is a season for every activity under heaven. He wrote that there is a time to be born … to heal, to tear down, to build, to mourn, to dance, to scatter, to gather … a time for war and a time for peace. The Hughes home church understands what that man was saying. Now is not the time for peace. Now is the season to go to war – to take it to the streets.

This summer brought many challenges and opportunities for growth. For one, the leaders Joel, Kat, and Dar have joined the new Crossroads Bible Study at Kent State University. They are part of an college ministry initiative whose goal to break through the spiritual darkness that holds KSU in its cold grip.

Called to “active duty” in a new mission field, the tried and true leadership team decided to go and to offer their talents and leadership experience to this budding ministry. It was time for them to go – to uproot from their established ministry. It was time to raise up a volunteer led team. It was time that the Hughes Home Church put away childish things and clothed itself with mature love.

One Hughite commented following the worker’s meeting where this plan was announced, “We knew that they were going. We were very supportive and excited about Dar and Joel going to the field. Soon Kathryn will join them. That new ministry is growing rapidly. Change is so unsettling. That is a good thing. God is certainly a God of movement.”

During that worker’s meeting, Joel called for a leadership team of volunteers – a team that would willingly take on the responsibility and “the heat” of leading the Home Church while “the deacons take their eye off the ball.” Joel didn’t want anyone to feel conscripted. An awkward silence filled the normally chatty room. Slowly people stepped forward and offered to pinch hit for them. The Lagotte’s, Avdeyev’s, and the Beech’s make up this fledgling team. Now is the time to build.

Since August 18^th , the “Lagotteechdeyev Rock – n – Roll Machine” has been in motion, starting with new series from the book of Luke. The goal is to more fully know and understand the person and ministry of Jesus. It was time to embrace Christ to get behind Him.

“How can we tell others about just how awesome Jesus Christ is if we don’t have an intimate relationship with him? We need to get to know Him better. We need to be excited about what He has accomplished. Luke should jump start this growth.” a volunteer reflected.

The old “talking head” teaching format is out the door. After receiving feedback from Joel on the multi-site conference in Chicago, the new “leaders” agreed with him that home church teachings need to change. In Ephesus, Paul had daily discussions with his disciples, not daily sermons. Discussions call for group participation. That now is the goal for each home church meeting. Each member of the body is to contribute to the meeting by using the gifts that the Spirit has given to him or her. Now is the time to grow.

1Corinthians 14:26

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.

This discussion format has been used twice. Already the meetings are more energized and dynamic. When everyone partakes and offers up their individual gifting, it is amazing how the power of the Holy Spirit is unleashed. The last two meetings bear the potential of something electric. It was time to tear down the show.

Getting people to our meetings has been difficult. Our outreach events and parties were nearly void of new people or even returning new. The body has been rather discouraged. For a while it seemed as if we had settled in and were content with our comfortable evenings of fellowship. It felt safe. It was pleasant. It was becoming a bore. This is time to mourn and to change.

After teaching Luke 2, Lisa commented,“I think that we became comfortable with how our meeting went. We all have very busy lives. It is so easy to say ‘yes’ to what the world has to offer and to believe that no one is interested in spiritual matters. Such lies. We now see that our love had grown cold. We knew we had to repent and get on board where God was moving. We need to go where the people are.”

A fresh fighting spirit has been building. There is a growing urgency to reach out to the lost – to scatter away from base. The Falls Home Church has a new resolve to go out into the community and to connect with others. We are accountable for how the meeting goes down. Our conversations are not only fun, but the are purpose filled and edifying.

This church is full of ideas – some old, some new. The C&C’s have continued and personal follow-up is improving. This church hopes to turn the C&C’s into a bi-weekly Discovery Group. This of course will take some time and relationship building. Along those lines, the guys are talking about going out into the community and invading man territory with their “Man Clan Plan.”

Jake explained, “We need to get men away from their women. Something happens when guys hang out with their wives or girlfriends. It is as if they get stupid. Men don’t want to talk to just one guy – not really – they find that creepy. Men want to be part of a gang – something that is manly. That is our idea – to pull men into our gang – Our Man Clan.”

Amy has been busy looking for ways to connect with some of the women in the Falls. She and Andie were recently invited to be a part of a book club. “I am asking God for opportunities to meet people and then I get invited to this book club. How amazing is that? God basically says to me, okay go read some books with these women. Get to know them. Go love them. Who am I to argue?”

Mel and Alex have been taking it to the streets as they get to know their neighbors. They have extended invitations to several neighbors and some may attend our next home church meeting. “People are beginning to take notice of the activity at our place. They are curious about what is going down.”

Many are getting involved with their neighbors. The Schoofs’ have taken up rock climbing – a hobby of their neighbors. Others are meeting more people through clubs, classes and new jobs.

Lisa has started a small business – walking door to door trying to find a way to meet new neighbors. “I know this sounds ridiculous. I am selling AVON. I have met several women already. It is amazing how easy it is to get women talking when it comes to beauty products. I guess they are already looking for something to make them feel better about themselves. I hope to make a connection with them.”

Not only is this church building an outward focus, but it is learning the ethos of commitment – to spurring one another to love and good deeds. October is retreat month. The guys and gals both have retreats planned. The goal is to work on our personal relationships and walks with the Lord. This is the first retreat in years – so everyone is very excited and eager to get down to work.

It should be a lot of fun too. Steve’s mom has graciously offered her place in Pennsylvania for our home church to use as a retreat place. It is a rustic setting and has a nearby recreational lake. Steve commented on the accommodations, “Things will be a little crowded – but we can fish there and hangout by the campfire. It will be very relaxing.”

Summer has gone and fall is here. Summer was a season of pending transitions – now fall is a season of resolute activity and purpose. This Rock – n – Roll Machine has got its groove on and its taking it to the streets. This church is not content. It is not resigned to just “doing” church. This is a group of brothers and sisters who are committed to fighting the good fight – the fight against the powers that be.

We are taking advice from a sister…. A TWISTED SISTER…

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